Blood brothers

One of the bugbears in forensic astrology is the clock on the wall. Getting a timed event or a time of birth becomes all-important if we are to undertake a thorough enquiry.  Rectifying a time of birth is usually out of the question, unless we have knowledge of major life events of our persons of interest, victims and/or family members.

Given an case that involves a family dynamic, we are not limited to taking the perspective of one particular member of a family.  It is most often the younger members who reveal the character clues we are looking for in forensic astrology.

Having the birth data on all members of a family is a gift and not to be ignored. This case in question is an oldie, but a goodie; an example worth sharing.

A career move meant that Jose Menendez relocated his family from the East Coast to the West Coast of the US.  This little snippet of information is something that makes me sit up in my chair.  Do we perhaps have an opportunity to rectify a chart or two if we are lucky; get an inside look at the driving needs of a POI?

uprooted treeWhen children are relocated in a major move interstate, across the country, or overseas, their astrology charts often reflect the emotional uprooting and the anxiety this creates in their young lives; within the family dynamic.

Uranus, the planet of sudden changes is our key.

As a child grows into an autonomous being, astrologically speaking, character is revealed by the interaction of planets in their charts. However when a child is coddled, over-indulged or hindered in their progress towards autonomy, the emotional maturity is often slow to develop, if at all and the family dynamic continues.

For forensic astrologers, we are often in the realm of emotionally damaged individuals whose autonomy is stunted or arrested in early childhood development.  So despite the fact that this family relocated when the two children were in their late teens, their astrology charts reveal the anxiety that a young child would experience.  Uranus progressed by solar arc remains the key to rectification.

Jose and his wife Kitty had two sons whose charts reveal highly emotional, immature and socially inept male children.  At the ages of seventeen and twenty these young men are emotionally still firmly within the family dynamic.  Vastly different from when this pair of indulged children’s father, Jose left his family in Cuba as a young man to make his fortune in America.

We can share the nature and nurture argument, by interpreting the classic symbolism of planetary positions in the heavens from a series of astrology charts; snapshots in time.  That together with the pseudo sciences is not intended to challenge the scientific knowledge base, merely an observation of planetary interaction.

Joseph Lyle is the first-born and we can suggest the expected heir in this patriarchal family unit, whereas Erik Galen’s chart reveals the Saturn retrograde phenomenon with an indication of a lack of mentoring from the male in authority; his father.

Note: In each of the boys’ charts, we have progressed Uranus (sudden changes) by solar arc to the cusp of the 4th house (home) when the family relocated in order to generate a relevant rectified time of birth for each.

Why the need to rectify the time of birth?  In this particular enquiry, we are exploring the driving needs, which are determined by the position of the Moon.  We need to rectify the Moon’s degree for relevance to the interpretation; reveal the intensity of the tension.

Brothers-Menendezclick on chart for full size

We suggest that together, Lyle and Erik have a dangerous combination of hard aspects; blood-brothers; even socio-pathic vampires.

This bi-wheel (method) looks at the sibling relationship from the perspective of the elder brother, Lyle who is three years older than Erik.

Considering the tension aspects and nothing else, we could cut the air with a knife between this two; the intensity is such.

  • Lyle’s Uranus (sudden changes) conjunct Erik’s Pluto (power/powerlessness) in the home atmosphere (4th house) with Lyle creating the sudden changes.
  • Lyle’s Pluto (power base) is square to Erik’s Mercury (yellow) – the elder dominates the communication between these two.
  • Nodal axis (traumatic experiences) conjunct Mars – threatening and overbearing his younger brother.
  • Turquoise highlighted Neptune (hidden matters/subversive activity) conjunct the blue natal Moon (driving needs) – emotional manipulation.
  • That Neptune-Moon tension plus the other Moon in opposition – the emotional manipulation is a driving need of Lyle’s.
  • Plus – square the lunar nodal axis of Erik. If that’s not creating tension and anxiety in his younger brother, I don’t know what is.

We can suggest from this bi-wheel, that the elder brother controlled the younger in their interactions, however we all know that it takes two to tango. Neither one is an innocent.

With the move to California, a philandering husband was more focussed on his career than his wife and children; the married couple didn’t join the party set.  Jose held a tight rein on the family dynamic by removing his wife from her support network of friends in Princeton and also by financial control over the boys, so we are told.

Lyle was sent back east to attend Princeton University, however he only lasted one semester; caught plagiarising an assignment.  Rather than accept that the boy needed serious psychological support, Jose Menendez endeavoured to convince Lyle to remain on the east coast. Dad didn’t want to lose face in Beverley Hills by his son’s return; a failure.

Lyle reacted by impregnating his girlfriend.  Jose opened his chequebook; an abortion, plus a cash settlement for the young lady followed.  She was virtually, paid off.  Again we see no support or guidance by a parent towards a child’s autonomy.

nightmare on elm driveIn less than two years from when the family left the east coast, rage erupted.  Lyle and Erik carried out the supposed, perfect murder.

Jose and Kitty Menendez were the victims of a shooting in their Beverley Hills mansion on Elm Drive; fourteen twelve-gauge shotgun blasts – five to the head and body of the father, nine to the face and body of the mother; a brutal slaying that left the parents virtually unrecognizable as human beings, according to eyewitness reports.

Such was their level of planning and execution, Lyle and Erik came close to getting away with it.  Over the next six months they managed to put a dint in their multi-million dollar inheritance.

Enter The Phobia Institute of Beverley Hills where a very friendly psychotherapist befriended the boys; lining his pockets at the same time. It didn’t take long for Erik to confess to his therapist.  Lyle was furious, confronting the NLP practitioner; making threats to his life.  Threatening the therapist broke the ethical bonds of confidentiality between medico and patient.  The brothers blew their cover completely.

Murder-Menendez-brothersOn the night of the murder, the Elm Drive neighbours report of hearing ‘fireworks’ provide us with a timed event; a perspective.  The cardinal signs at all four angles, with 24°Aries at the ascendant provide us with the picture; a snapshot of the heavens.  The inner wheel is the murder and the outer wheel, the natal charts of Lyle and Erik Menendez.

Bi-wheel #1 It is not at all complicated for Lyle. A perfect square of hard aspects; a straight-forward traumatic event with the reigning needs and subterfuge fulfilled.

  • Lunar nodal axis square lunar nodal axis – trauma x2
  • Transiting Moon (highlighted blue in the inner wheel) conjunct natal lunar nodal axis – emotional needs traumatised.
  • Transiting lunar nodal axis square natal Moon – driving needs traumatised (this aspect reveals the rectified birth time)
  • Transiting lunar nodal axis square natal Neptune (turquoise) – subversive action traumatised.

Bi-wheel #2 Again we have the lunar nodal axis in play.  Some would call this a karmic event.  We saw the nodal axis in the brothers interaction and now again with the murder.

  • Transiting lunar nodal axis conjunct natal lunar nodal axis – this time trauma working together and not at odds; focussed.
  • Transiting lunar nodal axis square natal Moon (again a reason for rectifying the chart) – trauma triggering driving needs.
  • Transiting Sun (orange) in the inner wheel reveals the calendar day.  We could suggest that Erik nominated the date for the murder.
  • Transiting Moon (blue) opposite natal Mars conjunct descendant – emotions are driving the action.

The courts tell us that the murder was based on greed; the brothers claimed abusive parents.  We can generate bi-wheels of their relationships with each parent.  Both parents have the Saturn retrograde phenomenon in their natal charts; an indication that neither parent had particularly good parenting skills in their own lives and the cycle continued.

Note: Jose Enrique’ Menendez’s birth time is rectified by his relocation from Cuba to the US.   Mary Louise (Kitty), we generate at the midpoint; noon.

sons-Jose-MenendezBi-wheel #1 The inner wheel is the son and the outer wheel the father, Jose’s natal chart. Once more a rectified chart identifies the interaction.

  • Lunar nodal axis conjunct natal Moon (blue) – this relationship is based on expectations.  The driving needs of the father are traumatic for the child.
  • Lyle’s Sun (orange) opposite fathers Mars (red) – Father (Jose’s 2nd house Mars) dominates the 1st house of the boy’s life.

Bi-wheel#2 The younger son has the Saturn retrograde phenomenon, which tells us that the relationship between father and son was distant; lacking mentoring.  The focus of the father was on Lyle carrying on the ‘tradition’ rather than Erik, however we can still suggest the basic aspects of the relationship between father and his younger son.

  • Father’s Jupiter (green) in the 1st house of the son is square the Saturn Rx Jupiter inflates what it touches – again expectations by the father, as well as inflating the lack of mentoring in the boy’s chart by hard aspect.
  • Child’s Saturn is conjunct father’s Ascendant-Sun – father’s authority is overbearing.

I would suggest that Erik is an ‘overly needy’ individual as a result of this lack of mentoring.  As to the relationship between the sons and their mother, Kitty, that is also complicated with the lunar nodal axis again in the mix.

Brothers-Kitty-MenendezNote: We don’t have the precise degree for the Moon in Kitty’s natal chart. At noon on the day she was born, the Moon was exact conjunct her Pluto. Whatever time she was born on that date, the Moon would still be in some tension with Pluto. 

We can suggest that Kitty Memendez was a woman who had little power in relation to her personal needs within this family.  The family would have had to come first in her priorities.

Biwheel #1 The inner wheel is the son and the outer wheel the mother, Kitty’s natal chart.

  • Lyle’s 4th house Pluto in the inner wheel is conjunct his mother’s lunar nodal axis – son takes over the father’s dominant role in the home when father is absent.  Like father, like son.
  • Lyle’s Uranus (sudden changes) conjunct mother’s Neptune (turquoise) – another over-powering symbol suggesting depression in the mother. Was she medicated as a result of this imbalance in relationship?

Bi-wheel #2

  • Erik’s lunar nodal axis is square mother’s Saturn – the child appears traumatised as a result of mother’s authority.
  • Mercury (yellow) indicates both the child and communication. The planet is square mother’s lunar nodal axis.  This relationship is totally out of kilter.
  • Erik’s natal Pluto conjunct Kitty’s Neptune (turquoise) – another over-powering symbol suggesting depression in the mother.

In this case, we have two children who participated in the killing of each parent, not in the heat of rage but in a carefully orchestrated murder after a long gestation period. There is more than money involved here. There is a deep, deep hatred; a hatred that goes beyond reason.

Call it evil, call it karmic; the cycle has now ended with the brothers incarcerated for life.

Gerbil and Cookie: a conversation

gerbil in the cookie jarThis is how a one-liner can catch a rat in the trap, or should I say expose an extra marital affair between gerbil and his cookie.  It is an innocent little one-liner that had cost Gerard Baden-Clay exactly three cents.

02Apr 09:28am; origin – Taringa Central Off-peak 006:00:18  $0.03

When I read that, I asked myself, “Why didn’t they use IM?  We would never have known.”

If they had, then there would be no record on the phone bill and I wouldn’t be on their tail, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me start at the beginning.

Having access to the court documents in the Baden-Clay case, the phone records were a temptation I could not resist.  I was able to trace many of the numbers on those records on my own accord, which I then shared with a group of fellow sleuths in January of this year. The information was passed on and collated.  I waited: there was little more than a gentle refrain.  I released the phone records.

Lists of names and numbers have stories to tell; conversations, which we all want to hear.  Having phone records of a network of people indicates that there is a sequence of events, a rhythm. Don’t you want to hear the music? I know I do.

Of the network of phones in this collection, there is one conversation I would like to share initially; the accused wife-murderer Gerard Baden-Clay’s. Not a monologue; that would bore us very quickly.

There is a hidden conversation within these phone records; a conversation between Gerbil and his cookie; Gerard Baden-Clay and Toni McHugh.  The conversation is hidden because it needed to be behind the wife’s back.

Once Allison Baden-Clay had learned of the affair between her husband and Pussy Galore the previous October 2011, the lovers needed to resort to subterfuge; smoke and mirrors, in order to maintain their contact; arrange their assignations.

Allison had Toni McHugh’s number and so the lovers’ contact could no longer be open phone calls; no more business calls.

There was always email on the cloud, but that didn’t fulfil the need for a rat in the cookie jar.  These pair were so deeply enmeshed in the realm of Neptune, that their adulterous fantasy required ongoing sensual input.

All five senses; six if you’ve got them, come into play when you’re on the hunt or playing the game of adultery and if Neptune is driving the affair, sense deprivation can lure lovers into the realm of madness. I’ve shared some of this already in a previous post – Gerbil in the cookie jar.

passionrachelclapboardWhen the sense of touch is missing the other senses go up a notch in the needs scale.  Without the taste or smell of your lover, the olfactory is missing. When lovers are kept apart the visual sense; sight, is missing.

That leaves just two senses left – the sense of hearing; the need to hear your lover’s voice and the sixth sense.  We all know that intuition ‘aint going to cut the mustard, so the voice becomes all important.

Something has to fuel their addiction; a planet Neptune trait.

This is why email contact was not enough for these two self-satisfying lovers.  Gerbil uses the alias Bruce Overland in emails but that fantasy’s not enough. They needed to hear each other’s voices, but how? Allison was checking every call and text message.

I even asked myself, “How are they going to get around this one?”

I believe that in the end, the addict cycle hits the wall; the addict wants to get caught. If no-one else will put on the brakes, then the wife is his next choice to stop the roundabout so he can get off. 

Unfortunately, the mistress wasn’t going to let go, she was going for keeps; living the fantasy that the show pony was real.

Perhaps Gerbil didn’t even know that he wanted to get off the carousel, but when I follow his actions, I believe he unconsciously wanted to be caught. Whether he wanted out of the marriage or not, well that’s another story.  We’re here to share a conversation between Gerbil and his cookie, not anyone else.

To the best of my knowledge apart from satellite use, a mobile phone connects to the nearest cell-phone tower and the message then usually relays to the next tower and so on until it reaches the recipient of the call, or rather, their phone.

What I do know is that the mobile carrier (in this case Telstra) includes the name of the original tower in the phone records and so we can see where a call originates from.  For me, that’s the basis of this trail. I refer to the towers continually through this suggested conversation.

Note: All the calls are included in the phone records.

22 March, 2012.

Once their sense deprivation was sated, they turned to conversation.

“Oh if only I had a photo of the two of us together, then it wouldn’t be so hard without you GM. KWIM?”

“For you GG, anything. I’ll call the studio when I get back to the office.”

Gerbil 03:29pm called Breeze Photos, Pullenvale

Pussy Galore 07:30pm via Indoor’pily tower

“I’m here. Did you book the studio?”

“I can’t tell you off the top of my head. Once I put the girls down, I’ll be back in the office and I’ll check my diary then. Can I get back to you?”

Pussy Galore 09:00pm via Indoor’pily tower

“You were fantastic as always, GM. Goodnight.”

I’m scratching my head.  How did they manage that? Allison knows that she can’t trust him. She is checking the calls on his phone.  Has Pussy bought another phone?

“They won’t get away with that too long”, I’m thinking.

The clock ticks and days pass.  The emails back and forth continue.  A coffee here, a grope there and a squeeze at the cheesecake factory after their portrait is taken; before you know it, Easter is coming up.

Sense deprivation raises the stakes.

5 April 2012

Bruce Overland 5:25am email Fig Tree Pocket tower

“Allison is in the office this morning then heading down the coast after lunch, can we catch up down the Valley?  A nice empty rental perhaps, GG.”

Gerbil 10:23am via Valley West tower

“I’ll just check in with the office.”

“Are Allison and the girls staying down the coast over the school holidays?”

“IKWYM.  No unfortunately, I’m driving down this afternoon.  I have to go to the cheesecake factory now, so I’ll drop the deposit at the Breeze Photos on my way through.”

“It’s Easter Thursday.  The traffic will be a nightmare.  I’ll miss you GM.”

“I won’t get a chance to talk probably. It will be nice to hear your voice when I pick up the messages.”

“Not just that GM. I can vibrate in your pocket and you’ll know I’m there.”

6 April 2012 Good Friday

Pussy Galore 04:06pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Palm Beach and diverts to message bank. Duration 18Sec.

7 April 2012 Easter Saturday

Pussy Galore 02:03pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Palm Beach and diverts to message bank. Duration 2:25min

Gerbil 02:06pm Palm Beach #101 retrieved messages

Pussy Galore 02:54pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Palm Beach and diverts to message bank. Duration 50sec.

 Gerbil 3:33pm Palm Beach #101 retrieved messages

Pussy Galore 04:07pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Palm Beach and diverts to message bank. Duration 56sec.

Gerbil 04:24pm Palm Beach #101 retrieved messages

8 April 2012 Easter Sunday

Pussy Galore 2:04pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Palm Beach and diverts to message bank. Duration 44sec.

Gerbil 7:55pm Kenmore #101 retrieved messages.

He’s back in town, however Pussy continues to vibrate in his pocket for the rest of the Easter break.  Perhaps he’s bored because he doesn’t pick up his messages; he has more pressing matters on his mind.

Emails continue back and forth between Bruce Overland and GG. Using an alias allows the shyte to roll off the tongue without conscience.  There are just a few bills that he needs to attend to.  Gerbil continues to live the lie; attend counselling with his wife and continue the fantasy that life is normal.

“She picked it up off the credit card statement.”

“You mean she knows that we had the studio portrait done?”

“Yes, Allison knows.  She wrote about it in her journal. We talked about it in counselling.”

Jealousy mounts frustration; those very needy senses are getting pretty uptight.  Pussy thinks to herself, “So he’s going to counselling. We can’t have that. I need to take this relationship to the next level.”

18 April 2012

Pussy takes a risk, rings from work.  The line is busy and so she leaves a message on his phone.

“I can’t wait GM.  When are you picking up the photos?”

Gerbil 04:40pm #101 retrieved messages.

Gerbil 04:40pm called Breeze photos, Pullenvale

He had been reminded and made arrangements to collect the photos the following day.

Pussy Galore 6:09pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone is busy as he is having a long discussion with the Cheeseman.  Her call diverts to message bank. Duration 17sec.

19 April 2012

Pussy Galore 4:17am via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates. Pussy hangs up before it goes to message bank. She waits.

Pussy Galore 8:03am via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 8:19am via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 8:21am via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

She’s getting frantic, but it’s time to go. Gerbil’s pocket gets the message.

Gerbil 02:43pm via Kenmore tower

“Blocksidge and Ferguson; how can I help you?”

“Can I speak to Toni McHugh please?”

“Certainly, Sir.  I’ll put you through.”

A call of 5 minutes duration takes place between Gerbil and his cookie.  He has reassured her of his commitment by openly calling her from his mobile phone. She caught the significance.  It’s those unspoken words between lovers that really count.

On his way to the Cheesecake factory, Gerbil picks up the studio photos.  They remain in an envelope.  There is no time to view them now.  There are a flurry of calls to make and he needs to get home.

The envelope makes it to Brookfield.

Gerbil 04:18pm via Brookfield tower

“Blockbuster video, Indooroopilly.  What movie are you watching tonight?”

“I need a chick flick, mate.  Got to placate the women.”

Gerbil 04:43pm via Brookfield tower

“I’m heading over now Mum.  Do you want me to pick up anything?”

Olivia is down and there’s a barbeque at Skull Manor.  Gerbil needs to get some sausages for the girls.

Pussy Galore 5:01pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:03pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:04pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:05pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:06pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:08pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:09pm via Indoor’pily tower

“I’ve been trying to ring for ages. I couldn’t talk at work.  Did you get the photos?”

“Yes.  I’ve got them.  They’re at home, but there’s no chance I’m going to get out tonight.  We’ll have to wait until tomorrow.  I can’t talk now.”

Pussy Galore 5:12pm via Indoor’pily tower – diverts to message bank

Pussy Galore 5:42pm via Indoor’pily tower

“I forgot to tell you. I’ll be at the Property Management conference tomorrow.”

“That’s a nuisance.  Allison is going to that conference as well.  She’s going with Kate. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for us to get together.”

“What do you mean Allison is going to the conference.  Why didn’t you tell me this before?  You’ve got to tell her, Gerbil.”

An argument escalates between the lovers, however Gerbil is able to extract himself as he pulls into the driveway of Skull Manor.

Pussy Galore 6:54pm via Indoor’pily tower

Gerbil’s phone vibrates in Kenmore and diverts to message bank.

planBThe night unfolds in another conversation, which we don’t have time for just now.

As for the conversation between Gerbil and his adulterous Pussy Galore, he did not retrieve his messages until the following day 20 April at 1:57pm.

There were no sensual messages from his cookie; no strokes for his ego. She had waited until she heard his recorded voice and then hung up.

But back to the phone records…  How did they get away with all this contact?

Pussy could not have been ringing Gerbil from home, as her apartment was right under the St Lucia tower.  The calls didn’t originate from St Lucia.

Did Pussy ring the office mobile and then it diverted to Gerbil’s personal mobile phone? I checked with Telstra.

The C21 Westside office mobile phone in the account name of Mr Gerard Baden-Clay was a basic FleetSelect plan with no options.  For just $10 extra per month, it would have had the divert option, but it didn’t.

The 03cents one-liner telling us that WAP/internet session were available on the “Office” mobile phone had not been utilised by this pair. This leads us to believe that there can only be one answer as to how they got away with it until now…


A picture speaks a thousand words.

For those who need the answers to the clues…

  • Toni McHugh had previously worked at this office C21 Westside and admitted to having had assignations with Gerard Baden-Clay in the office after-hours.
  • Toni McHugh had either kept her old key after she was sacked when Allison found out about the affair, or Gerard Baden-Clay gave her another one at a later date.
  • Toni McHugh knew that Allison was sitting at her (Toni’s) old desk (it’s in the statements) so part of her fantasy would most likely be that she let herself in with her key outside of business hours or on the public holidays and dallied there with Allison’s paperclips, sat in her chair, rifled her drawers – play-acting/fantasizing that she was Mrs Baden-Clay.
  • Gerard Baden-Clay had the office mobile phone for staff to call him on his mobile when he was out.  It was a cost saving exercise, rather than to use the C21 phone/fax landline which charged per phone call.
  • During office hours the cell phone tower which covered the area of the C21 office radiated from the business sector, Taringa Central tower.  After-hours it reverted to the Indooroopilly tower.  The phone did not need to be moved – it was the clock that moved…
  • I suggest that Toni McHugh drove up to the office from her home nearby, let herself in with her own key and rang Gerard Baden-Clay from the office phone on the occasions that I refer to above.  Either that or she called from her own phone to the office mobile number, which then diverted to Gerbil’s personal mobile phone.  Either way it is covert action to avoid Allison catching them out.  We would need to have Toni McHugh’s mobile or the office phone for extraction, to confirm either way.  Let’s hope the QPS did this.
  • All phone calls can be checked – Office mobile call record and Baden-Clay phone record – Gerard
  • As to the portrait photos from Breeze.  I have suggested that Gerbil left them at home on the afternoon of the 19th before he went to Kenmore for the barbeque.  Was it an unconscious act leaving them for Allison to find?
  • IM is instant messaging.  To put it very simply (I’m not techno-head) instant messaging is similar to SMS/text messages in that it is typed as a short message, however it does not travel via the mobile phone carrier service (Telstra in this case) as a SMS/text does;  IM’s travel via the internet (like emails). Therefore it does not appear on a phone bill as a call; it is part of the data package.
  • We would need to have the phone in order to extract the data to find out what the WAP/internet session was used for on that occasion, which I refer to in the beginning of the post above.  Was it to send emails, to browse the internet or send IM’s etc?

Venus + Moon = Prince

I had a rather unusual request, not long ago.  A rather well dressed, professional young woman sat before me.  I leaned back in my chair and listened as her tale unfolded.

boatmoonwomanShe was absolutely besotted; was in love with a man with whom she had worked for some years; a man who didn’t appear to even notice that she existed, no matter what she tried.

Recently she’d heard that he had become engaged and as a consequence was absolutely devastated.

She was even considering tossing in her job and wanted to know if there was any hope for her with this man, if I could help.

I gently explained that predictive astrology wasn’t my area of expertise; I was a forensic astrologer and dealt with crime, not matters of the heart.

The tears were welling up in her eyes.  What was I to do, pass the tissues?

I utilised my psychologist’s toolkit, sat forward and spoke very directly, “If I hear you correctly, you are coming to me, a forensic astrologer, because you want to commit a crime; you want to steal someone’s fiancee.  Am I correct?”

She was flummoxed, but not for long with ‘if onlys’ and ‘buts’ tumbling from her lips. I waited silently, not flinching an inch until she settled into the energy and finally gave me the reply I was waiting for.

“If you put it that way, then, yes I am. I want to know how to steal this man.”

I smiled and told her that preventing crime, or solving it was more up my alley. The moral high-ground had won over my need to pay a few bills.  I extricated myself from the consultation without judgement and showed her the door thinking, well that’s that…

The young woman had left her birth data on the desk and as I was at a loose end, I picked up the slip of paper, turned to the computer and the rest of the day unfolded.

Our young lady’s natal chart together with a progressed chart to her current age indicated marriage on the immediate horizon;  my interest had been piqued.

I was curious enough to follow this up; make enquiries of my own in order to find the man’s birth data, which sure enough revealed it highly likely that this young woman would land her man. How did we know?

wedding ringsI had been able to rectify her chart to an accurate time of birth, which then gave me the detail I needed.

Marriage is a seventh house matter and relates to the marriage partner.

Now if she was looking to have a fling, I would be reading the fifth house, but our young woman was serious about this man; serious indeed.

From the degree of the zodiac at the cusp of the seventh house, together with the position of the planetary ruler of the 7th house; the planets within the 7th house and their soft aspects, I was able to give a rough physical description of this man and what line of work he was in.  I checked; it fitted.

I stood firm in my resolve not to interfere.  The heavens obviously had everything under control, I need do nothing, but how was she going to pull it off?  Could I solve the crime before it was committed?

When we are dealing with matters of the heart, we need to refer to the feminine – the planet Venus and the Moon.  Where they are positioned in a man’s natal chart, reveals the type of woman who appeals to him.

His Venus describes her looks; her physical appearance and his Moon, her personality.

This man’s natal chart revealed that he had Venus in Leo, so he would prefer his ladies to be regal, glamorous and attractive.  Such a man would want to draw attention to himself and with a Leonine ‘looker’ on his arm, he would stand flattered and proud.  You can almost hear him ‘roar’.

Her mane would be very important.  The volume of hair was good, but that mousey colour just would not do; our girl needed gold or blonde highlights.   Oh and wear lots of gold jewellery and choose your colours wisely and keep a sunny smile; don’t be haughty.  All of this and more, I would have advised her, had the situation been different.

His Moon meanwhile was in Virgo, which reveals a very different man in the home. His ideal woman wouldn’t have servants to keep her home in perfect order.  Her personality would need to project this image for him to be interested.

Virgo is a sensible, practical and logical sign. Their approach to most matters in life is careful and analytical. Ruled by Mercury they are interested in many things and the subjects that attract most interest will receive the most diligent attention.  As well as being a thinker, they are also doers. They willingly make emotional sacrifices for those who are less fortunate having an innate need to help others to help themselves.

When I think of it, you know I think she could actually pull this off!

With this combination of Venus and Moon attributes, our young lady would need to manouvre a social situation where they could converse uninterrupted on a private level for her to reveal her personality.  It might require a little acting, but that’s not a crime.  Oh, if only the situation were different.

Looks and flirtatious glances weren’t enough to catch this man. His match needed to appear regal, yet impress him with those Virgoan ideals of practicality.

To sell that package, this young woman would need to have a conversation within the man’s interests.  Not a conversation of a regal person discussing the practicality of ruling her subjects, or the management of the royal purse.

Our princess royal would need to stress the importance of a woman being able to keep a neat and tidy home; the practical wife and above all, not be lazy.  She might also indicate that she were willing to continue her career as well. That would be the practical approach.

Don’t forget to add that all important bit to feed his Venusian ideal – a wife’s role would be ever so practical and humble behind the scenes, yet ready to glam up for her man when they went out.  Be sure to tell him that m’dear.

The clock ticked and the heavens arranged for opportunity to knock at her door. I have heard, she took that opportunity with both hands and went for it, the crime was committed and they were married just three months later. Wow, that was quick.  What was her rising sign?

It had to have been Aquarius, what with Uranus (the planet of sudden changes) residing in her seventh house.  Uranus is the ruling planet for Aquarius and her 7th house partner made a sudden change in her favour. The heavens always get their way.

So dear reader, if you want to win your prince over, don’t wait until someone else is on his lily-pad.  Find out his date of birth and with a little bit of help you can discover where his Venus is placed and also his Moon.  From there you can leap frog into the future, together.

frog-princeBut then there are always the frogs, who are not man enough to take that leap into the future; what is a girl to do?

You toss them back in the lily pond, girls.  Plenty more where they came from.

Gerbil in the cookie jar

gerbil in the cookie jarBefore you start stuffing your face with melting moments Gerbil, allow me to introduce you to one of these gorgeous cookies you’re about to devour.

She’s an Aquarian Sun sign with a Moon in Gemini. That’s a heady mix, mate!

You’ll need to be on your toes with this one, Gerbil.  I bet she let you know she was interested.  Ears pricked, blood rushing to your head…

Aquarian females are well versed in such things, or so I’ve heard and with the Moon in Gemini, she would be more than likely to tell you a load of ‘porky-pies’ if it meant getting you in the sack.  Did you know that, Gerbil?

She wasn’t after your brain mate, but then neither were you.  This was not brain surgery you two had on the agenda now, was it?

Hang on! What about the cheese and kisses, Gerbil? I doubt the thought of wife and daughters entered your head with your fist stuck in the cookie jar. Loyalty and fidelity are not your catch-cry obviously; not this Aquarian’s either, it seems.

Astrology tells me that this sheila would be too much hard work on a full-time basis mate; never shuts up; always looking for stimulating conversation in areas way beyond your dumb ass and… needy.   Needy! Don’t get me started, it’s exhausting just looking at her chart.

Got you all excited at first though didn’t she?  She knew which buttons to press and you wanted to fill those needs of hers, didn’t you?  Fill ‘em to the brim and then more…

Venice Carnival. Free picture for your blog or website.Keep her as a mistress mate or park her somewhere and drag her out when you need a rumble in the jungle or whatever role-play you’ve agreed on for that day and keep clear of that arty-farty stuff she keeps going on about; she’s way too high-brow for you, Gerbil.

Maybe give her a gold jacket to match yours. Oh and make sure that she keeps her eye on the job at hand. That’s the way to go; give her a gold jacket and a desk of her own.

So let’s start the business of taking the mask off the gorgeous girl; draw up an astrological analysis of one of Gerbil’s cookies.  I think we shall call her Pussy Galore, what do you reckon?  (Pussy Galore was the Bond girl in Goldfinger.)

Our Pussy’s got Mercury right on the ascendant; ideas, plans galore, plus Neptune and Jupiter cuddled up close in the 11th house.  Big on fantasy this cookie and in Sagittarius as well, now she’d like a costume ball, Gerbil.  Why not take her to the Venice Carnival?

pompadourThe Gran Caffé Lavena is putting on a ‘Chocolate in Costume’ theme in the late arvo or the dinner dance ‘Minuetto’ at the Hotel Danieli on Saturday 2nd February, 2013.

Oh sorry, I forgot; you’re stuck in the Arthur Gorrie Correctional Centre.  What a bummer!

No wonder you wanted bail. Madam Pompadour will find someone else, don’t worry.  Pussy is sure to wear that satin teddie that turns you on so much.  She’ll come across for someone else, mate…  no furries.

There is something else in her chart you need to know, Gerbil.  She has a Grand Trine taking precedence in her personality. She has Sun, Moon and Uranus in an Air element Grand Trine.  This cookie only needs a mirror to talk to Gerbil.

Pussy was all-enthusiastic in the beginning though wasn’t she; so fascinating and you dumb-ass thought it was you, who brought that fascination out in her; that she was fascinated by you.  Yawn…  You just needed to hold up the mirror, Gerbil.

A Grand Trine is a very lonely place to be.  This sex kitten’s stuck in it for life, poor Pussy; bouncing off the walls of the triangle most of the time, never to get out of that threesome of Sun, Moon and Uranus; all that energy in the element of Air, a mental realm.  Everything happens for her in the mind. No wonder the need for fantasy.

It’s all rather interesting to observe from the outside, Gerbil. Did you know that when she dressed up in all that sexy gear and you role-played with her, it was because Pussy needed to see the lust reflected in your eyes for her to achieve a heightened sense of satisfaction; her priority was the Pussy’s needs, not Gerbils.

passionrachelclapboardNo Gerbil, it wasn’t your performance in the cot; that you’re hot to trot, though you did have a good teacher when you were a young rat didn’t you. My memory’s slipping was it ’92 or ’93?

You know what a woman wants, or at least you think you do.

Pussy knows how to work you.  It was the reflection of her own performance that she needed to see; the power of seduction and the weakness of your lust, rather than how skilled you were.

Did she look at you, as she does with all men; with disdain and disgust?  Pussy has Pluto in the 9th house.  She would see power as residing in the realm of superiority, of higher learning and elitism, not in the 7th house of a committed relationship. A committed relationship for her is the realm of the Moon; a Moon which is busy in that Grand Trine of hers, bouncing off the walls.

Hmmm, a tough one! Pussy needs a relationship with a significant other, but she fills the need herself.

Oh boy you two thought you were going to go places in the real-estate game didn’t you?  Interesting push there from her mother with Uranus in the 10th house and the cusp in Libra.

This little cookie has had several careers; real estate is just her latest.  I find these sweet things get pretty frustrated as a result of swinging back and forth as they sit on the seesaw; prevaricating about their careers, but I digress.

I’ve just drawn up a composite chart on you two – Gerbil and Pussy; Pussy and Gerbil.

A composite chart is when you put two natal birth wheels together and ask the computer to do its magic and come up with a chart of what a relationship between these two would be like. Not a bi-wheel but a composite wheel.  A bi-wheel is two individuals, which we can compare and analyse; whereas a composite chart is ‘the relationship’ of a couple of individuals.

The computer creates the composite by a combination of the midpoint pictures of the two individuals.  It is not a snapshot of time.  It is a combination of planetary positions.  The composite wheel exists only as a mass of entrails we can poke around.  In our case rats guts and the contents of the guts, namely one partially digested cookie.

Rats and cookies wouldn’t normally hold my attention long enough, but for the sake of posterity lets put our sticky fingers into the cookie-jar and see what we can find.  I have my glass of milk ready and the cat’s got the cream.

Composite- G+PNo points for guessing what zodiac sign’s on the red highlighted Ascendant… Scorpio.

This relationship began with sex and will get bound up as it progresses with something more serious with the opposite side (the Descendant), which is in Taurus; that’s money.  Money binds the rat and his cookie.

The lust for money is a powerful aphrodisiac.

While we are in Taurus, we note that Saturn (highlighted in blue) is there in the 7th house.  This is far too serious for a couple who are having an affair behind someone’s back.

The cheese and kisses is not in the frame; she knows not what they doeth.  These two are not free to carry on in public as if they are in a 7th house relationship. That’s the cheese and kisses role, Gerbil.

Did this couple believe their behaviour was beyond the morals of common folk?  This is the fantasy, the elitism that Pussy lives by;  that same fantasy, the learned parental modeling, Gerbil received at home according to our earlier enquiries.

Mind you, Saturn is in the zodiac sign of money and we also note that Saturn is the handle of the fan for all those planets on the left-hand side of the wheel. That means Saturn and the planetary symbology of Saturn in Taurus runs the show, fans the fire of this relationship.

I think I’m going to need something stronger to drink; where’s the G&T, cat?

The Moon in this relationship is in a similar position to Gerbil’s natal chart, so his need for love is the driver for him here.  The sad part is that this Composite Moon is in a Grand Trine (see red lines) with Jupiter and the MC; a disastrous self-fulfilling prophesy.

This time the Grand Trine is in the element of Water: Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio.  Round and round we go, bouncing off the walls of the triangle:  emotional need for love, inflated sexual desire, a successful career; all a recipe for disaster.

The rat is going to get wet.  Sodden cookies don’t appeal either.

The Grand Trine reveals that Gerbil was in this relationship to have his emotional and sexual needs met while his wife was busy fulfilling their children’s needs. It’s only by this roundabout need of his and Cookie’s practiced role-playing abilities, that they are able to keep the wool pulled over the cheese and kisses’ eyes for all that time.

Pussy meanwhile is caught up in the fantasy element of the relationship; the soul-mate dream. Silly Pussy…  The composite reveals the 2nd house answer to this scenario; Venus, Neptune and Sun all exact conjunction at the first minutes of Sagittarius (highlighted in green).  This is a relationship impossible to live up to.  Talk about dream the impossible dream…

Eventually something had to give and it was the career corner of the trine, as it turns out.  The cookie jar of money, emptied. No Grand Trine=no relationship with Pussy.  What was a Gerbil to do?

We know the relationship had to come to an abrupt end as Mars (masculine energy) and Uranus (sudden changes) are in the 12th house (highlighted turquoise) in the composite chart.

The end could even come to a climax perhaps by Uranus’ other symbolism, modern technology.  This could all end as simply as a confrontation (Mars) over the ‘phone (Uranus).

At the time of the breakup, Jupiter was transiting the composite wheel’s 7th house Saturn. We know that anything Jupiter touches, it inflates.  That’s inflating the fire!  It’s all too much for Pussy; she’ll get her paws burnt.  The dirty rat had betrayed her as well; he’d been tom-catting.

It took the symbolism of Jupiter (the police) to walk in the room and tell Pussy that she was not the only kitten in the litter tray.