Gerbil in the cookie jar

gerbil in the cookie jarBefore you start stuffing your face with melting moments Gerbil, allow me to introduce you to one of these gorgeous cookies you’re about to devour.

She’s an Aquarian Sun sign with a Moon in Gemini. That’s a heady mix, mate!

You’ll need to be on your toes with this one, Gerbil.  I bet she let you know she was interested.  Ears pricked, blood rushing to your head…

Aquarian females are well versed in such things, or so I’ve heard and with the Moon in Gemini, she would be more than likely to tell you a load of ‘porky-pies’ if it meant getting you in the sack.  Did you know that, Gerbil?

She wasn’t after your brain mate, but then neither were you.  This was not brain surgery you two had on the agenda now, was it?

Hang on! What about the cheese and kisses, Gerbil? I doubt the thought of wife and daughters entered your head with your fist stuck in the cookie jar. Loyalty and fidelity are not your catch-cry obviously; not this Aquarian’s either, it seems.

Astrology tells me that this sheila would be too much hard work on a full-time basis mate; never shuts up; always looking for stimulating conversation in areas way beyond your dumb ass and… needy.   Needy! Don’t get me started, it’s exhausting just looking at her chart.

Got you all excited at first though didn’t she?  She knew which buttons to press and you wanted to fill those needs of hers, didn’t you?  Fill ‘em to the brim and then more…

Venice Carnival. Free picture for your blog or website.Keep her as a mistress mate or park her somewhere and drag her out when you need a rumble in the jungle or whatever role-play you’ve agreed on for that day and keep clear of that arty-farty stuff she keeps going on about; she’s way too high-brow for you, Gerbil.

Maybe give her a gold jacket to match yours. Oh and make sure that she keeps her eye on the job at hand. That’s the way to go; give her a gold jacket and a desk of her own.

So let’s start the business of taking the mask off the gorgeous girl; draw up an astrological analysis of one of Gerbil’s cookies.  I think we shall call her Pussy Galore, what do you reckon?  (Pussy Galore was the Bond girl in Goldfinger.)

Our Pussy’s got Mercury right on the ascendant; ideas, plans galore, plus Neptune and Jupiter cuddled up close in the 11th house.  Big on fantasy this cookie and in Sagittarius as well, now she’d like a costume ball, Gerbil.  Why not take her to the Venice Carnival?

pompadourThe Gran Caffé Lavena is putting on a ‘Chocolate in Costume’ theme in the late arvo or the dinner dance ‘Minuetto’ at the Hotel Danieli on Saturday 2nd February, 2013.

Oh sorry, I forgot; you’re stuck in the Arthur Gorrie Correctional Centre.  What a bummer!

No wonder you wanted bail. Madam Pompadour will find someone else, don’t worry.  Pussy is sure to wear that satin teddie that turns you on so much.  She’ll come across for someone else, mate…  no furries.

There is something else in her chart you need to know, Gerbil.  She has a Grand Trine taking precedence in her personality. She has Sun, Moon and Uranus in an Air element Grand Trine.  This cookie only needs a mirror to talk to Gerbil.

Pussy was all-enthusiastic in the beginning though wasn’t she; so fascinating and you dumb-ass thought it was you, who brought that fascination out in her; that she was fascinated by you.  Yawn…  You just needed to hold up the mirror, Gerbil.

A Grand Trine is a very lonely place to be.  This sex kitten’s stuck in it for life, poor Pussy; bouncing off the walls of the triangle most of the time, never to get out of that threesome of Sun, Moon and Uranus; all that energy in the element of Air, a mental realm.  Everything happens for her in the mind. No wonder the need for fantasy.

It’s all rather interesting to observe from the outside, Gerbil. Did you know that when she dressed up in all that sexy gear and you role-played with her, it was because Pussy needed to see the lust reflected in your eyes for her to achieve a heightened sense of satisfaction; her priority was the Pussy’s needs, not Gerbils.

passionrachelclapboardNo Gerbil, it wasn’t your performance in the cot; that you’re hot to trot, though you did have a good teacher when you were a young rat didn’t you. My memory’s slipping was it ’92 or ’93?

You know what a woman wants, or at least you think you do.

Pussy knows how to work you.  It was the reflection of her own performance that she needed to see; the power of seduction and the weakness of your lust, rather than how skilled you were.

Did she look at you, as she does with all men; with disdain and disgust?  Pussy has Pluto in the 9th house.  She would see power as residing in the realm of superiority, of higher learning and elitism, not in the 7th house of a committed relationship. A committed relationship for her is the realm of the Moon; a Moon which is busy in that Grand Trine of hers, bouncing off the walls.

Hmmm, a tough one! Pussy needs a relationship with a significant other, but she fills the need herself.

Oh boy you two thought you were going to go places in the real-estate game didn’t you?  Interesting push there from her mother with Uranus in the 10th house and the cusp in Libra.

This little cookie has had several careers; real estate is just her latest.  I find these sweet things get pretty frustrated as a result of swinging back and forth as they sit on the seesaw; prevaricating about their careers, but I digress.

I’ve just drawn up a composite chart on you two – Gerbil and Pussy; Pussy and Gerbil.

A composite chart is when you put two natal birth wheels together and ask the computer to do its magic and come up with a chart of what a relationship between these two would be like. Not a bi-wheel but a composite wheel.  A bi-wheel is two individuals, which we can compare and analyse; whereas a composite chart is ‘the relationship’ of a couple of individuals.

The computer creates the composite by a combination of the midpoint pictures of the two individuals.  It is not a snapshot of time.  It is a combination of planetary positions.  The composite wheel exists only as a mass of entrails we can poke around.  In our case rats guts and the contents of the guts, namely one partially digested cookie.

Rats and cookies wouldn’t normally hold my attention long enough, but for the sake of posterity lets put our sticky fingers into the cookie-jar and see what we can find.  I have my glass of milk ready and the cat’s got the cream.

Composite- G+PNo points for guessing what zodiac sign’s on the red highlighted Ascendant… Scorpio.

This relationship began with sex and will get bound up as it progresses with something more serious with the opposite side (the Descendant), which is in Taurus; that’s money.  Money binds the rat and his cookie.

The lust for money is a powerful aphrodisiac.

While we are in Taurus, we note that Saturn (highlighted in blue) is there in the 7th house.  This is far too serious for a couple who are having an affair behind someone’s back.

The cheese and kisses is not in the frame; she knows not what they doeth.  These two are not free to carry on in public as if they are in a 7th house relationship. That’s the cheese and kisses role, Gerbil.

Did this couple believe their behaviour was beyond the morals of common folk?  This is the fantasy, the elitism that Pussy lives by;  that same fantasy, the learned parental modeling, Gerbil received at home according to our earlier enquiries.

Mind you, Saturn is in the zodiac sign of money and we also note that Saturn is the handle of the fan for all those planets on the left-hand side of the wheel. That means Saturn and the planetary symbology of Saturn in Taurus runs the show, fans the fire of this relationship.

I think I’m going to need something stronger to drink; where’s the G&T, cat?

The Moon in this relationship is in a similar position to Gerbil’s natal chart, so his need for love is the driver for him here.  The sad part is that this Composite Moon is in a Grand Trine (see red lines) with Jupiter and the MC; a disastrous self-fulfilling prophesy.

This time the Grand Trine is in the element of Water: Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio.  Round and round we go, bouncing off the walls of the triangle:  emotional need for love, inflated sexual desire, a successful career; all a recipe for disaster.

The rat is going to get wet.  Sodden cookies don’t appeal either.

The Grand Trine reveals that Gerbil was in this relationship to have his emotional and sexual needs met while his wife was busy fulfilling their children’s needs. It’s only by this roundabout need of his and Cookie’s practiced role-playing abilities, that they are able to keep the wool pulled over the cheese and kisses’ eyes for all that time.

Pussy meanwhile is caught up in the fantasy element of the relationship; the soul-mate dream. Silly Pussy…  The composite reveals the 2nd house answer to this scenario; Venus, Neptune and Sun all exact conjunction at the first minutes of Sagittarius (highlighted in green).  This is a relationship impossible to live up to.  Talk about dream the impossible dream…

Eventually something had to give and it was the career corner of the trine, as it turns out.  The cookie jar of money, emptied. No Grand Trine=no relationship with Pussy.  What was a Gerbil to do?

We know the relationship had to come to an abrupt end as Mars (masculine energy) and Uranus (sudden changes) are in the 12th house (highlighted turquoise) in the composite chart.

The end could even come to a climax perhaps by Uranus’ other symbolism, modern technology.  This could all end as simply as a confrontation (Mars) over the ‘phone (Uranus).

At the time of the breakup, Jupiter was transiting the composite wheel’s 7th house Saturn. We know that anything Jupiter touches, it inflates.  That’s inflating the fire!  It’s all too much for Pussy; she’ll get her paws burnt.  The dirty rat had betrayed her as well; he’d been tom-catting.

It took the symbolism of Jupiter (the police) to walk in the room and tell Pussy that she was not the only kitten in the litter tray.


7 thoughts on “Gerbil in the cookie jar

  1. Don’t know if it was fact or fiction, but I loved learning that when Pussy Galore learned she was not the only cat in the Tom’s little black book, she let out a screeching Hissssssss that could be heard as far away as the Blue Mountains, lol. And the Cat’s-Got-The-Cream smile appeared to have been replaced by a very sour and twisted grimace indeed, in those Back-of-the-Police-car photos

    Surely investigators enjoyed that, even though they would have maintained a professional neutrality, once they’d dropped the bomb on her

    One element that doesn’t quite sit with me though is the supposition that the Gerbil in question sought in Ms. Galore a soul-mate and lurrvve. Call me cynical, but personally I have a difficult time according warmth or Hallmark card sentiments to the old Gerb. Only thing I see in his eyes is dollar signs. For example, I overheard a tale some weeks ago about a man who persuaded an idealistic young woman to bequeath her worldly goods to him, prior to their forthcoming marriage. There were no children involved at that point. Seems the besotted lass did as he wished

    The tale continued to the current day. Seems the cad in question languishes in a correctional facility, awaiting trial for his wife’s murder. And, according to the tale, he nevertheless managed somehow to sell his dead bride’s assets and claim them as his own, courtesy of the bequest she made in his name a decade or more earlier, prior to their marriage. Hence my reservations about the Gerbil’s capacity for love in the case of Pussy Galore – or any woman for that matter.

  2. Well done MM – It has now given me some thoughts on the ole girl as I had her down purely as the next ‘cash cow’ for him. Wonder what stimulating conversation took place when she discovered scratches on face, neck, chest, hand and torso when checking out his bod on the tallebudgera getaway whilst dear Alison was still missing? What, no alarm bells setting off? What, no throwing yourself in the tallebudgera creek for a swim ’cause he had to keep covered?
    Pussy now singing like a canary!! – You betcha !!

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