More on bwana

What is a marriage enhancement facilitator?  Nigel Baden-Clay, father of the accused Gerard Baden-Clay prides himself as being just that – big-game hunter, conservationist and marriage enhancement facilitator.  What?  Whose eyes are you trying to slip the wool over?  Big-game hunter and conservationist! That’s got to be an oxymoron before we even start.  Alarm bells are sounding; watch out for the banana skins!

What a gift!  Nigel Baden-Clay has the audacity to refer to himself as a marriage enhancement facilitator. Maybe that’s part of the conservationist tag and I should give him the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps if he put it around the other way – big-game hunter, marriage enhancement facilitator and conservationist, I might have been more likely to be sympathetic to his cause, but no that would be worse wouldn’t it, as it turns out.

I bet some fancy PR person dreamed up that title ‘marriage enhancement facilitator’.  Reminds me of the ‘sanitary engineers’ tag and political correctness gone mad.  In my day they were marriage guidance counselors and garbo’s (garbage collectors for the uninitiated), but hey who am I to criticise some PR person earning a quid.  It’s the inflated egos who actually believe that the title gives them power that are a worry.

Some individuals, given the label, actually believe that they have been given the power to hold over others, rather than be empowered themselves. We already know that Bwana is likely to be a law unto himself.  He would be likely to ‘improve’ on any guidelines he was given.  So let’s unpeel the banana; unpack the label of marriage enhancement facilitator and see how he might have processed it.  Sliced, mashed, or chomped?

I can already see a group of PR people sitting around the table, brainstorming.  The whiteboard is clean and ready to go; butcher’s paper is covering the communal altar; pens and pencils all lined up; electric sharpener at every corner. The facilitator writes the first word on the board – marriage.

We all know what that means as marriage is such a popular pastime, it’s a given demographic of its own. Most of us do it, don’t we?  There’s a bucket load of customers under that label, marriage; we don’t need to hustle up any more; there’s no need to reinvent the word.   Marriage is underscored with a solid black marker. It stays.

Guidance – we’re not in the Girl Guides anymore, we’re all grown up and besides who wants to be led along by a rope, not me. Sounds too much like the blind leading the blind.  Can’t we come up with something better?   Enhancement is an interesting word. Why can’t we use that instead?  If we put the two words together it opens up a whole new market.  Marriage enhancement makes it to the top of the list.

I look at it for a moment, hmm.  The combination of marriage and enhancement has sexual connotations.  Surely no-one would accept that combination, would they?  That’s just too obvious isn’t it?  Penis enhancement? Breast enhancement?   Some would think  – hey if the marriage is rocky, we just need to improve the sex don’t we?  And the word enhancement is all about size isn’t it?  Oh yes, that will appeal across the board.

We preach quality, but what everyone wants these days is, quantity.  More is better, better, best and more sex sells to every target demographic; hits the bulls-eye.  You’re right.  Keep enhancement – we can always plead innocent and just say we want to make it ‘all better’; be mummy and put on a band-aid.  Or we could even be a tad righteous and say that we will make the marriage ‘get better’, as in healed.  I get my proposal across – marriage enhancement gets the tick of approval. Underscore!

So what else?  Counselor sounds too much like there’s a psychologist involved; that there is something wrong with me. There’s also that sneaky little ‘sell-or’ on the end of the word.  We need to disguise that selling bit. The public is also starting to get wise about accreditations.  You only need to do a weekend workshop these days to hang out a shingle as a counselor.  How about a facilitator?

Now that’s just facile!  I know, but it sounds good and giving someone the title of facilitator gets all those wanna-be teachers in – another lot who haven’t got any accreditation.  Controllers, you mean! Yeah, someone who wants to be out the front as the centre of attention; at the whiteboard with a big stick; probably a bwana type person telling us how to be a success at the marriage game.  I win! Up on the whiteboard and underscored, are the three words Marriage Enhancement Facilitator.

Well that credibility went straight out the window for Nigel Baden-Clay didn’t it. Doesn’t say much for the course he did and claimed to be a director of. There’s another sneaky PR thing.  When you read the word, director you think someone is a director of a company, when in fact it was just another one of those fancy PR titles.  Baden-Clay senior claims to have held a directorship of an Australia-wide public company and religious organisation, which was de-registered in 2004.  I don’t think much of their PR team, so I’m not surprised it didn’t survive.

2004?  That was just in time for Bwana to change his shoes and jacket.  He’d struck gold. Number One son was on the rise and gave daddy a gold jacket to wear.   Onward, Christian soldiers.

Nigel Baden-Clay continued to refer to himself as a marriage enhancement facilitator right up to and including the aftermath of his son’s failure at marriage; beyond his son’s failure at being counseled by a marriage guidance counselor. Even after the murder of Number-One son’s wife Allison; the murder which his son, Gerard Baden-Clay stands accused of.  Have you no humility at all?

You entertained your son’s mistress in your home for four years during Gerard Baden-Clay’s marriage; as he made babies in the marriage bed. How’s that for high moral standards and upholding the tradition of marriage? Did you change the meaning of marriage vows to suit, as well?

After your son’s wife has been murdered you have acted as a go-between for your philandering son and his mistress. They have to ‘lay low for a while’, he says.  Now he stands accused of his wife’s murder. How far are you prepared to go?  Your role as a mentor, one would hope, is over.

How did this man, Nigel Baden-Clay come to see himself as a possible mentor for those whose marriages were in turmoil?  Let’s take a look at his astrological horoscope for clues as he appears to be a classic case for us all to learn from.

Have you ever heard of Chiron?  No, it’s not a planet; not a star either. Depending on which camp of astronomer’s you’re sitting with, Chiron is a planetoid, an asteroid, a comet or all three.

Chiron was not named until 1977 despite being around as a blip on the radar screen for more than a hundred years. In 1988 it suddenly became much brighter and therefore of more interest to astronomers. Then two years later it grew a tail. Have I peaked your interest? Did someone mention size or was it the bit of tail that worked?

Out there in our solar system, there are heaps of asteroids.  We usually only get to hear of them in the movies when the Earth is under threat from an asteroid crashing through our atmosphere and creating terror; one of our primal fears, annihilation.  But that aside, the Main Asteroid Belt is situated between Mars and Jupiter, whereas the Centaur group of asteroids is one more step farther away from the Sun. Their territory is between Jupiter and Neptune.

If you’re on my page, you’ll already be thinking, “Hey that’s not between a rock and a hard place, that’s between inflation (Jupiter) and fantasy (Neptune)!”

To reach the exalted status of a Centaur is beyond 99.9% of the asteroids banging around out there and creating as much impact as they can. In order to be classified as a Centaur, an asteroid’s orbit must cross the orbit of a major planet. Whether a Centaur completes this orbit erratically or not is irrelevant, we’re told.  So they can wobble their way around, that’s okay just as long as they get there.

Funny mob, these astronomers.  They must all sit around reading the Greek myths in their spare time, as that’s exactly how Centaurs behaved in ancient times; a rough and rowdy mob of mercenaries who created as much havoc as they could.  Boozed up on fermented berries and mead, they’d get the wobbles up as well.

In modern times, since we’ve had the technology to follow the paths of these asteroids, ‘2060 Chiron’ was observed to have fulfilled the criteria; ticked all the boxes. In mythology Chiron is the mentor of the Centaurs, so that’s probably how the asteroid was named.  As to the ‘ko’ symbol, that would be in honour of the discoverer, astronomer Charles Kowal.

The last time Chiron came anywhere near a major planet was about 1,300 years ago when it crossed Saturn’s path, millions of miles away from any impact threat. The next intersection is due with Uranus and again the planet will be far away from any threat of contact.  We don’t need to pack our bags yet as the diameter is just 240kms and it travels at less than 8kms per hour.  We have time to turn to astrology.

We can see the symbol for Chiron conjunct the nodal axis, in the zodiac sign of Leo and in the seventh house of the horoscope for Nigel Baden-Clay. The Sun is opposite in the first house and also conjunct the opposite node.

We can see immediately how Bwana was drawn to this ‘calling’. Chiron conjunct the nodal axis is a misguided need (inflated fantasy) to be a ‘healer’ in the public arena; we are in the seventh house of public relationships (marriage) however we are in Leo – that’s risky for a start – a sunny disposition yes, but we have lions and pride going on under the surface.  Look out for the roar, if you don’t do what he says.

Having the Sun-Node conjunction in opposition brings the ego into the fray.  In essence the ego is meant to learn from the mirror that Chiron holds up and heal thyself, however if we are to look at the nurturing aspect of this man, he has not heeded his mentor, Chiron.

In astrology Chiron is acknowledged as the ‘wounded healer’.  As soon as I read the story of Nigel Baden-Clay and the marriage enhancement facilitator tag, I knew that Chiron was bound to be in the picture.  To be a marriage guidance counselor is a healing role and we have a man here who apparently lacks the humility needed to be a healer. That’s Chiron’s job.

Many a person is attracted to that, which they need to learn.  Chiron is the major indicator in horoscopes of such individuals. If you were in his shoes, you would have to ask yourself, why would I, an insurance salesman, be drawn to wanting to be a marriage enhancement facilitator?  That fell on deaf ears; the ego won that round.

Cheiron is a Greek word that translates as ‘hand.’ Think chiropractic, a hands-on therapy or cheiromancy – palm reading; or even as the centerpiece on the logo of the American College of Veterinary Surgeons Foundation.  Yes, Chiron gets around, folks.  In mythology he is half man-half horse. The British Army Veterinary Corps’ badge is also Chiron at his best; a nice twist, I might add – the human-animal mix held in high esteem in a healing modality.

Grouping Chiron with the Centaurs was an error in judgment by the astronomers, I believe. It was assumed that because Chiron was half man-half horse, he must be the same as the Centaurs, who are also half man-half horse.   It looks like a Centaur therefore it must be a Centaur.  They skipped the bit about ‘acts like a Centaur’.

Chiron’s origins are far removed from the rough and ready lifestyle of the Centaurs in Greek mythology.  He always held a soft spot for them, however his DNA was different.

Chiron’s origin in mythology is the result of a union between the God Saturn, who was off chasing a bit of tail and a heavenly beauty. This is before Saturn grew that long beard and started wearing hooded robes and carrying a sickle.  He was a young buck at one stage.  He fancied one of Neptune’s daughters, Philyra who was a married woman, but that wasn’t going to stop this chap. He was one of the Gods wasn’t he!

Philyra made a bad decision in her attempt to avoid his advances.  She morphed into a mare and galloped off towards the sunset and freedom.  Not one to let a filly slip through his bit, Saturn did the obvious and morphed as well.  The stallion had his way with her, as you would expect. Just another conquest to him.

Pregnant and outcast by her husband, Philyra did it tough giving birth to a beast. Half man, half horse, Chiron’s only blessing was a gentle nature. His mother loved him still and trained him in the healing arts.

Chiron has the most wonderful reputation as the wise-hearted, most generous and kindest of characters in mythology. He holds the knowledge of herbal medicines, of music and the hunt. Among his teachers were Apollo and Artemis and his oracular skills were widely sought after. When there was trouble at Delphi, the Gods would turn to him. He is known to have mentored Achilles; to have taught Asclepius the skills of surgery and many, many others too. He was kindly to the travelers on the Argo, Jason and the Argonauts. The testimonies go on and on.

Hercules plays a starring role in the continuing saga of Chiron for, during a skirmish with a rowdy bunch of Centaurs – who were all scattering and heading for the hills at the time, Hercules carelessly wounded his friend and mentor, Chiron.  It wasn’t a deliberate act, but unfortunately the arrows Hercules had chosen to use on this particular day were coated with the blood of the monster Hydra and Hercules accidentally wounded Chiron in the knee. Arrows coated with the blood of the Hydra, as we would all know, are bound to cause painful wounds that will never heal.

And being an immortal, Chiron having a wound that would never heal, was a serious problem. He would never be able to heal from the wound caused by Hercules, and being immortal he could never die; caught between a rock and a hard place.

It is always interesting to note that people with Chiron in tension aspects in their horoscopes, invariably have a problem with their knees and suffer joint pain.


2 thoughts on “More on bwana

  1. Riddle, paradox , or phoney baloney? In Aussie lingo BS.
    How can one be “big game hunter” and “conservationist” both in the same breath?
    Call me a Queensland Country Lady; but isn’t that contradictory?
    Conflict of interests.

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